Vampire, The Code of the Fang

Hot, deserted, evil-ridden desert!  What had possessed him to hole up in Texas?

Zandar swatted at the tribe of mosquitoes flocking around him, that were perhaps sensing his undead demeanor.  Worse than the rats of England, he spontaneously decided.  They were as thick as the stars in the wide open, blackened skies – their stingers probably laced with visions of West Nile Virus.

Zandar gazed at his western idiot savant, Lester, whom he’d transformed into his devoted servant. Lester, however, referred to his title as ‘helper’ which was heavily laced with a ... Read more »

If you're lucky enough to encounter one of these children of the night, don't blow everything by asking if you can snap a quick picture for your photo album. Vampires are very sensitive when it comes to cameras; I guess you could call them camera shy. So, bend a little and settle for a charcoal drawing. Better yet, bring your Etch-A-Sketch.

If you and the boys invite a vampire over for Monday Night Football, don't put any garlic salt on his buffalo wings. However, Liquid Smoke and MSG are A-OK. During halftime, ask him to entertain everyone by transforming from vampire to bat, then back again.  

If you decide to introduce your girlfriend to a vampire, you must insist that she wear a turtle neck sweater and shades that have b ... Read more »

A certain old man was traveling to the city in anticipation of starting a new life.  Everything he owned was tucked safely into his pockets and the knapsack on his back, his load light.

By and by he came across an ugly witch who was locked inside a beautiful golden cage. "Release me and I will give you but three wishes, old man," she begged.

Being the kind-hearted soul that he was, he released the witch - not expecting her to give him anything.  Without so much as a 'thank you' she had vanished down the dusty trail leadin ... Read more »