1. You can enjoy beer all month long.

2. Beer stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.

4. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play football.

5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

6. Beer is never late.

7. Hangovers go away.

8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.

11. Beer never has a headache.

12. After you've had a beer the bottle is still worth a dime.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath.

14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.

16. A beer always goes down easy.

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know when you're the first one to pop a beer.

19. Beer is always wet.

20. Beer doesn't demand equality.

21. You can have a beer in public.

22. A beer doesn't care when you come.

23. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony.